When the time comes, I want my obituary to begin with these words:
“Dan Lynch is dead. Some people liked him, and some didn’t. He felt the same way about them. He did not believe in astrology, ghosts, vampires, witches, werewolves, that the government faked the 1969 moon landing or that Elvis lived on after 1976.
“He tried to maintain an open mind concerning Bigfoot, flying saucers and the Loch Ness monster, although he was acutely aware that no reliable evidence supported the existence of any such phenomena.
“He had his reservations about Barack Obama, but he did not believe that Obama was born outside the United States, that he was the antichrist or that he was in league with Satan.”
Why do I want these items in my obituary? Because, unable to speak for myself at that point, I want total disassociation between my memory and all the gullible nutballs who constitute so much of the electorate in this country – all the hopeless people who, as kids, probably went to school on the short bus and stubbornly grew up to be hopeless dolts despite the system’s best efforts.
Okay, that’s a bit unkind, but there are a lot of these people. Two in five of them believe in astrology. One in three adults believes in ghosts. One in four believes in witches. One in 20 believes in vampires and/or that the moon landing was faked. Bigfoot and Nessie are real to nearly one in five of us.
When it comes to Obama, though, things get really weird. One in four of us believes that he was not born in America – including nearly half of Republicans. They believe that even though In June 2008, Obama put pictures of his certification of live birth from the Hawaiian government on a website, Fightthesmears.com. They believe it even though Factcheck.org, a non-partisan news organization, examined the document and found it had an embossed seal, a stamp on the back attesting to its authenticity and met State Department requirements to obtain a passport.
They believe it even though, in October 2008, Hawaii’s director of health stated in writing that he and the Registrar of Vital Statistics had looked at and verified that the state “has Sen. Obama’s original birth certificate on record.” The officials worked for Hawaii’s Republican governor, who also pronounced that Obama was born there.
People believe that crazy stuff even though two Honolulu newspapers ran announcements of Obama’s birth on Aug. 4, 1961. They believe it even though, for somebody to doubt that Hawaii was Obama’s actual birthplace, then that person would have to believe that in 1961 state officials and Honolulu’s two newspapers conspired to fake the birth, knowing that someday the baby would run for President.
It’s also worth noting here that about 15 per cent of Americans believe that Obama is the antichrist and that one in seven believes him to be in league with Satan. Why do people believe this BS? Well, here’s one reason:
If you took the time to click on this link and to watch this stuff, you may or may not have noticed that this is a severely edited tape. You may or may not have noticed that Obama’s lip movements do not match the sound. You may or may not have noticed that whoever put this together did so for the precise purpose of lying to you. You may or may not have noticed any of these things because you’re a …
… well, I’ll now work to suppress my basic outrage instincts and try to be kind here. Let’s let it go at this, okay?
More than nine in 10 Americans, according to the polls, believe in God. If you’re one of them, then you must believe that God created you with certain pieces of equipment because He wanted you to use them. He gave you eyes so you could see and appreciate the glory of his creations. He gave you a voice so you could speak out against injustice. He gave you hands so you could use them to perform good works.
Just try to bear in mind at all times that God gave you a brain as well. Why did He do that? My guess is that He did that because He wanted you to THINK!!!!!! My guess is that God wants us to use our brains to absorb information, process it rationally, to observe fairly and to arrive at our conclusions in a logical fashion.
And I never cease to be amazed at how many people just refuse, refuse, refuse to do that.